And yay, it doth begin.

Good evening

Though, now it is truly morning. But my time is wasted awake. Maybe I need help with that, but it's the least of my concerns...

Sometimes, you know, I need to know people are real. It's been one of those weeks. I feel kind of, disconnected. Like every person I meet is just a figment of my imagination. It's not so bad, I guess. But sometimes I'd like to hear from people, instead of the short hand auto-response I always get. And I'm grateful for you.

I read the book you sent, again, last night. I just, it comforts me. Though I didn't sleep at all. For all it means, I needed that book. I wound up writing all through the front cover, and I'm sorry... I had to. Maybe one day, I'll show you what I wrote.

On that note, I like how you wrote all throughout that book. It makes it more, personal. I managed to make it through the whole book without crying, this time.

I wonder, to this day, if you ever got my present for you. I hope you did, but I'm sure you didn't.

I miss you. All the things we've been through. You always listened, and knew just what to say. And I'm sorry if I'm putting our relationship on a pedestal, because it's ruining what I have with Rebeca. I know we ended it a long time ago, but you know exactly how hard that was. I don't think I'll ever have anything like what I had with you, and I'm sorry I ruined it for us. I wish I hadn't.

Do you remember when you said "I forgive you"? It shattered me. I knew I did wrong, but for you to just accept it, and live and let live? I felt so bad to do that to you. You deserve better. You'll never accept it, or understand it, but, you do.

And the things you do to yourself now? You're the Charlie to her Patrick. Friends don't do that, because it's just, you're lying. And you both know it. I wish you'd be honest with her, Jess, because you both deserve it.

Yeah, I'm a hypocrite. I know. But at least with Rebeca, I'm honest.

Spring break is almost half-way done. So expect more letters from me, maybe. When school comes back, I'll try to send one everyday.

I can't keep this up, I'm almost in tears already. Please, take care, and do what's right. Please.

Love always
Nerl