Dear Jess

Today wasn't as bad as I had hoped. My friend Khyle stopped in while I was at work, and he brought granola bars! We sat around and talked for a bit, then he had to go to church. But I am grateful for his presence. And my stomach isn't hurting so much, today. It's resting discomfort is worse, but, whatever. I'll deal with it.

My dad is going to call the doctors tomorrow, so I am nervous...

Rebeca isn't sleeping, again. Not much, at least... I worry and worry about her, even though I know it wont fix anything. But what else can I do? I'm so useless. I feel so tiny, you know? Like I'm so thin I could just snap in a light breeze. I'm not tall, it's just my head's in the clouds. I'm drifting away, because there's nothing I can do.

I managed to have a conversation over the phone with Rebeca, though. It was nice... I miss her so much. It gets worse every day because I just can't seem to not notice she isn't there. It's always present in my mind that I am without her. That I might not see her for a long time. That I have so little control of when I'll see her again. If ever.

I need to find something to take her off my mind. I'm going to lose it. I'm losing it already. I can't spend all my time asleep. Not that I sleep much anyways.

I hope your life is better then mine.

Love always
Nerl